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Hard times create strong people, strong people create good times, good times create weak people, weak people create hard times.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

If you’re not annoying someone somewhere, you probably aren’t doing anything important.

The higher we climb in life, the more we learn just how hard people have worked to achieve anything

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

My brain boots up in the morning like a 10 year old PC that frequents gambling and adult websites

If you think that alcohol isn't the answer - you probably don't know what the question is !

The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somebody, somewhere is pushing on a door that says "PULL".

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles’ heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

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